My husband and I met when we were in our late 30's and knew that having kids was something that we both wanted. Due to our ages we began the process of trying soon after we made the commitment to be together. We knew it could take time so when pregnancy didn't happen right away we weren't too concerned. After getting close to a year of trying we decided to get things checked out to see if there were any medical barriers in the way of us conceiving naturally. After getting some tests done we learned there were in fact medical challenges that would make it very difficult to conceive without fertility treatment. Due to our situation we were told IVF was our best option. It was tough to hear that but also hopeful that there was an option to realize our dream of conceiving and having a family. The process was a lot to go through but it went well with a few starts and stops in the beginning and I was happy to be going through it. Unfortunately the IVF was unsuccessful. There were many tears and sadness. We knew going in that the success rates were not high and many people have to do multiple rounds to be successful but of course we were hoping it would work. 

Luckily after the few years since our IVF, success rates are getting better with new protocols! 

We spent some time grieving the loss of this process and wondered what to do next. We did not have endless money and knew that doing IVF again was probably not going to be possible as it is not covered by most insurance. We thought about adoption but that is also very expensive and can take a long time. After talking with friends and having consultation with a new fertility clinic that had more options then our previous one we decided to go with the process of embryo donation. It was affordable and had a high success rate. Letting go of having a child with our genetics took some time but for us the most important thing was to have a baby and be parents. We began the process. I did about everything possible to prepare my body, along with all the hormones of course, which helped me feel confident and feel that I had some influence on a path that is filled with ups and downs and unknowns. I did yoga, acupuncture, massage, reiki, drank red raspberry tea, castor oil packs, fertility foods and on and on! The frozen embryo process entails getting a shot with a big needle in your behind weeks before the transfer and for the whole first trimester if you become pregnant.

I became pregnant with the first transfer that we did. We were so excited! Soon after a strong first positive test and HCG, pregnancy hormone reading, the numbers started to drop when they need to rise for the pregnancy to be seen as viable. I couldn't believe it! After 3 years we were finally pregnant and not it was uncertain if it would last. I stayed home the day after the initial numbers drop and just rested and prayed and hoped and hoped it would be ok. Amazingly our numbers started to rise. We were hopeful, they were hopeful. Sadly after several more weeks of ups and downs the pregnancy did not make it. That was heartbreaking. 

The doctors were very encouraging that we should we try again as we did get pregnant and there wasn't anything saying we couldn't again and be successful. Once again we took some time, grieved the loss and about 6 months tried again. I did all I could do take care of and prepare my body and heart for the next transfer. We got pregnant again! This time from the beginning it was a strong pregnancy and has stayed strong. We had a few bumps in the road and things to work with but the baby has been well the whole time. I have had anxiety to manage through this pregnancy after all we have been through, but have done my best to stay calm and trust that all be ok. 

Next week are due to have our baby. After 4 years on the journey our son will be born! We are so grateful and thankful. I always believed we would get there. It took a long time but here we are. I send love to all who are on their journey to conceive and become parents. Staying flexible, hopeful and open to what was possible were hugely helpful on our journey.